Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
