Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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