"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
