I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
