happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
