is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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