just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Alive.
So much puke
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
