Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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