You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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