If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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