It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
