eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
