then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
