Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
