I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
