Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
it's like heaven, but drunker
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
