Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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