I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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