Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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