So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
