At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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