Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
