And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
