look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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