oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm jealous of your bromance
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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