I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
