But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
