what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
