i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
