My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
