I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
