Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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