How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
