There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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