5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
