Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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