got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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