is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
