You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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