There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
