So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
