just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
