hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
