yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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