.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
