Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
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