i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
