nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
