3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
