i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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