well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
