hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
