she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
