Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
